If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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