one two three fourrrrnication!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
