i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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