at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
