we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
