I heard we made out
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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