hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
