he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
