you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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