My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
