i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
