who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
