My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
