you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
