dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
