clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
