theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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