Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
