this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
