my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
