She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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