nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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