wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
