Duck Duck Cougar?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
