my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
