is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize