He passed out mid-signature
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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