was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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