I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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