girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
