Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
