Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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