I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So squirting runs in the family.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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