is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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