I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
