I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
