I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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