Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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