I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
