Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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