I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My life is pants optional.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
