I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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