I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
