why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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