Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
