After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
