if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
