I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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