My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
