is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
