Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
