I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
