we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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