you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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