I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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