When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
third nipple confirmed
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
