You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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