It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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