I hate all girls vehemently.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
