do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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