Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
