Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
