another moral hangover. fuck.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
