At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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