I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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