I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
