Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i love accidental penises.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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