What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
