We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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