My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
