my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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