If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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