dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
When did angry sex become our thing?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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