you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
